Who Holds the Purse Strings? Women & Philanthropy

Who makes major decisions in your life?

If you look closely, many of the decisions we think are “shared” — or even “someone else’s” — are often strongly influenced by women.

Right now, my husband is online booking our holiday. Yes, he’s doing the legwork… but every few minutes he asks me:

“Early flight or later?”

“Poolside or ocean view?”

“All-inclusive or explore the town?”

He’s making the clicks — but I’m shaping the decision.

And the same dynamic shows up in philanthropy.

Many Ontario charities build their fundraising strategy around the person who signs the cheque or whose name is on the charitable receipt. But in many households, the decision about where to give — and why — happens long before the donation is made. In many cases, women are central to that decision-making process.

Here’s the opportunity for small to mid-sized nonprofits:

If your fundraising and stewardship strategy isn’t intentionally designed with women in mind, you may be missing major gifts, legacy gifts, and long-term loyalty — even from donors who already care about your mission.

This isn’t about “targeting women.” It’s about recognizing who already carries influence — and stewarding that influence well.

The invisible gap in stewardship

A lot of donor stewardship is designed for transactions — not for relationship decision-making.

We thank people. We send receipts. We invite them to events.

But many donors (and often women) are quietly asking:

Do I trust you?

Do I feel seen?

Do I believe you’ll use my gift wisely?

Do I feel like I belong here?

Will I still feel proud of this gift five years from now?

When you answer those questions well, donations don’t just happen — they deepen. Over time, that’s how you build recurring giving, major gifts, and legacy commitments.

5 practical stewardship shifts you can make this month (no big budget required)

1) Move from “thank you” to “you made this possible". ”Write thank-you messages that reflect meaning, not just amounts.

2) Tell fewer statistics and more human stories. Share one person’s experience, one family’s turning point, one community change.

3) Steward the relationship, not just the gift. Add a simple rhythm of touchpoints (a short update, an impact story, a check-in, an invitation).

4) Talk about legacy earlier than you think you should. Use gentle language on your website and in newsletters: “Some supporters choose to leave a gift in their will…”

5) Equip your Board to notice influence. Ask at board meetings: “Who is deeply connected? Who shows up with their heart? Who tells our story when we aren’t in the room?”

A gentle challenge for leaders

If women influence giving decisions — and the research suggests they do — then this question becomes essential: Does your stewardship approach reflect how women decide, trust, and commit?

If you lead a small or mid-sized charity in Ontario, you don’t need a bigger fundraising department. You need a smarter relationship strategy.

If you’d like help strengthening stewardship or building a sustainable legacy giving pathway, I’d be happy to connect.

Be well,

Deb